The Annual Christmas Slurpee Toss 2012.

Down, down, down it came. Like a shooting star falling from the heavens, Post's cup scorched through the air and crumpled onto the dirt on the far side of the court. Now that was a magnificent toss, outdistancing his closest competitor by several metres. Fist raised in triumph, Post turned to face those he’d defeated: Davet, Ahab, Glamma and… Bart? Was Bart there? Had Post finally beaten Bart the Unbeatable?

Sigh.

No.

Bart was just running late and the others had started without him. He and Alethea were at the vet with one of their dogs, and would be there soon. Post had about 30 minutes to enjoy being Clubhouse Leader.

Hey, you take what you can get.

Bart, when he did turn up, was quick to downplay his chances. “Bradman once went out for a duck, you know,” he declared loudly. "And you've got scoreboard pressure," he told Post. "You can't discount the significance of that. It's anyone's game." But scoreboard pressure doesn't count for much when it's muscling down on Bart, and with a shrug of his shoulders… oh, but wait, I guess before we reach the main event we should give the side-acts their moment in the spotlight.

[cue sound of tape being rewound]

The sun put on a scorcher for the 2012 Slurpee Toss. A 39-degree day meant there was to be no dawdling once you stepped out the newly-installed automatic doors at the Templestowe 7-Eleven for the walk back to the pitch or you'd be tossing a cup o' cordial instead of a tasty ice beverage.

First up was Davet who put forward an interesting hypothetical: if you're the only person to toss and your cup goes backwards, are you still the King? Technically your cup has gone further than that of anyone else; it's just that it's gone backwards. Clearly the spectre of 2008 still sits heavily on Davet’s shoulders. 

A ruling couldn’t be reached, so Davet bounded down the pitch and sent his cup into the air—thankfully forwards. And it was a good toss, coming to rest about three-quarters of the way across the court.

Next up was Ahab. After back-to-back titles in 2008-09, he withdrew in 2010 and was underwhelming in 2011, placing fourth. And despite giving his cup some pre-toss love, his effort this year was similar, coming to rest a short distance behind Davet’s.

Then came Glamma. Despite his festive-themed t-shirt he was not to experience any Christmas tossing cheer, as his cup slid to a stop just over half-court, a few metres behind Ahab's.

And then came Post who, as we saw earlier, stepped up and delivered his cup to the far side of the court before sitting down to wait for Bart and Alethea to arrive.

And when they did arrive, it was with good news: Murphy was fine, and so it was back to the business of tossing.

And back to considering Davet’s earlier hypothetical, because, as the sole woman at the Toss, Alethea had the potential to bring theory to life. What would happen if she sent her cup backwards? I mean, it was unlikely, but then Alethea had sent her cup in unlikely directions before! But not today. Like Davet her cup went forwards and she went into the record books as Queen.

And predictably Bart then reconfirmed himself as King, sailing his cup over the court, over Post’s cup, and down onto the lower court, in what was possibly his furthest toss yet.

Not that that was a surprise to Bart who turned to the crowd, nodding. “I knew,” he told them. “As soon as it came out at 45 degrees, I knew.”

Final results (official)

MENS: 1. Bart (King); 2. Post (Jack); 3. Davet; 4. Ahab; 5. Glamma.
WOMENS: 1. Alethea (Queen).

Too much Slurpee blogging barely enough?
Keep on Stolping: The First Pour–2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012.
Keep on Tossing: The First Release–2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011.
Keep on Demolishing: The Alpha and the Omega.