But in Templestowe, an outer north-eastern suburb of Melbourne famed for its "latte lifestyle", the anniversary on the minds of most people was a far more recent one: the fall of Bart. Though almost a full year had passed since Ahab brought the perennial champion crashing to the ground, the shockwaves could still be felt by the locals as they sat drinking their lattes in one of the suburb's innumerable cafes.
Bart had ruled as king for so long that few could imagine the title belonging to anyone else. Since the very first Toss he'd sat securely upon his throne as wave after wave of challengers hurled themselves against his fortress walls. The one interruption to his rule came in 2004 when Benn usurped the throne while the King was away touring other lands. Upon his return Bart swiftly reclaimed the title, of course, and there in his iron fist it seemed destined to remain. If madness is repeating the same task expecting a different outcome, then surely all those who turned up year after year to stand against Bart were mad dog bent up sideways barking fruitcake scented mad?
Well, possibly, but they could also have been students of history; for history has shown us that even the most formidable wall cannot stand forever.
And so it was with Bart.
Invincible though he seemed, the years finally took their toll and a crack appeared in his defences. A crack may be small, but a crack can grow. And as it grows, a crack can become a way in. And in 2008, it was Ahab who found a way in, bursting through to victory as the great wall collapsed around him. The impossible became possible and History was written.
But as Ahab's Slurpee cup came crashing to the ground the question everyone was asking was could he do it again? Had he won, or had Bart simply lost? It was a good question – if a little mean-spirited – but one that today remains unanswered. For on the eve of the 2009 Toss, citing personal reasons that required his attention, Bart pulled out of the competition.
Disappointed yet understanding, Bart's fellow competitors wished him a speedy resolution and the hope of seeing him back on the pitch next year. And not to question the sincerity of the response, but you'd have to think a few of the tossers were quietly pleased. For many Bart's absence was without doubt their best chance to claim a title of their own. Sure, a victory won without contesting Bart might not have the glorious refulgence of one that did, but a title is a title – a testament that all who rose against you were defeated – and for most, that's enough.
As the great day dawned there was another late withdrawal from the competition. After checking his symptoms with Dr Wikipedia, Cobbies diagnosed himself with a 'cluster headache' and went back to bed. A rare but debilitating neurological condition, cluster headaches commonly afflict those working long hours in stressful jobs while maintaining a diet rich in tobacco and alcohol. An important health message for us all there, I think. However close to death Cobbies may have been, he would have wanted the tossers to go on, and so go on they did.
Kicking things off for 2009 was Post. His dream to hold all three Templetitles at once remained unfilled, and Toss King had proved most elusive of all. But at one time or another he'd beaten all in this field besides the two rookies, and he knew his time was now.
Brow furrowed, he pounded down the pitch and sent his cup arcing into the air with a snarl. While not his strongest toss, it still travelled a good distance, coming to rest a couple of metres short of the far side of the court. Would it be enough? Only time would tell.
In recognition of the increasing lady contingent competing at the Toss, a women's league was established and a new title, Toss Queen, joined Toss King and The Jack in the Tossing monarchy. The first lady up to stake her claim was Kate (with cheer squad in tow).
When she appeared to hesitate, Davet offered some advice from the stands. "Don't think, Kate," he called out, "just do." It sounded good in theory, but when Kate stepped down the pitch she larked her cup straight up in to the air! It crashed down onto the brick path several metres away, setting a very beatable mark for those to come. I guess that's what happens when you listen to advice from the only competitor to ever toss backwards.
Speaking of which, to better his effort of 2008, Davet needed only to stand at the tossing line and drop his cup at his feet. As he stepped onto the pitch, Kate offered some advice of her own. "Davet, you know how normally you don't think, you do? Maybe this time try thinking?"
And try he did, as Davet sent his cup sailing not only in the right direction but a good distance as well, thumping down a metre or two behind Post and putting Davet in contention for The Jack. Davet thought back to last year and breathed a sigh of relief.
Next to the line – to the surprise of all – was Kirst. Though she'd grown up around Slurpees and knew her way around a cup, she'd never competed in the Annual Toss. But this year, perhaps at the urging of her fiancée Nick, she pulled on the icy gloves and showed us what we'd been missing.
Employing the lateral sweep first used by Bart back in 2007, the southpaw sent her cup flying fast and low over the court, crashing down just short of the centre circle. It would have been an impressive toss for a veteran, but such a result on debut marks Kirst as a force to watch.
Though never a strong performer at the Toss, Glamma's fans were hoping he could find some of the form he's had on display at the Birdbath Cup over the last two years.
And things looked good as he sent his cup hurtling skyward with a perfectly executed dash and toss. Flying straight as a die, the only thing his cup lacked was the power to travel in to the lead and it hit the ground a metre or so behind Davet. Perhaps a solid pre-season next year will see his standing improve?
At her last appearance at the Slurpee Toss, Bambi had set a personal best with a thumping toss. This year she hoped to go one better, but she'd need to beat Kirst's mark to do so and that didn't look an easy task.
Storming down the pitch in her customary bare feet, she roosted her cup into the air, and sent it crashing down just short of Kirst! So close, yet so far away.
All are welcome at the Toss, but particularly so when they come with the enthusiasm of Nick. Though having never tossed a cup in competition, he was obviously a keen student of the game and full of theories on how best to approach his maiden toss.
And his theories converted well to practice, as with a smooth swing he sent his cup flying over the court and thumping down a foot or so behind Davet. No plasticware for Nick, but a very promising debut nonetheless.
The penultimate toss of 2009 belonged to maiden tosser Pip. Recently introduced to the sport by Davet, it appeared he'd given her some instruction as well. For just like his effort last year, Pip bounded down the pitch and swung into action but forgot to let go!
Her cup flew from her hand and into the ground, where it spun off a good distance to her left. Well, she at least avoided the ignominy of sending it backwards, I guess? And though Pip may have walked away with nothing but the Plastic Straw, her enthusiasm was commendable and we hope to see her back next year for another try.
And finally, the moment all had been waiting for. Up stepped the Toss King and Holder of the Soggy Biscuit, Ahab. Poised and confident he eased down the pitch and launched a textbook toss into the air.
Gliding straight and steady in a graceful arc, his cup came to rest just short of the gutter on the far side of the court, landing Ahab in first place. It also landed him in the record books again, this time as the only person other than Bart to successfully defend his title. And though his cup may not have travelled down into Bart's domain on the lower court, it really was a magnificent toss. In fact, let's see that in Instant Replay:
That's how you do it, kids. The now two-time King and current Keeper of the FNOath really should be pushing to resurrect the Super Slurpee Demolition Competition because, I'll tell you, on current form the triple Templetitle would be his.
Below left: Ahab leaving a spangled trail of glory. Below right: Ahab, 2009 Slurpee Toss King.
We'll see you (and hopefully Bart, ready to go head to head against Ahab) back here next year!
The Final Results (official).
MENS: 1. Ahab (Toss King); 2. Post (The Jack); 3. Nick; 4. Davet; 5. Glamma.
WOMENS: 1. Kirst (Toss Queen); 2. Bambi; 3. Kate; 4. Pip (Plastic Straw).
Too much Slurpee blogging barely enough?
Keep on Stolping: The First Pour–2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009.
Keep on Tossing: Dawn of Time–2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008.
Keep on Demolishing: The Alpha and the Omega.
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