If over the next few months I happen to kick down your door and strut in screaming, “Hellomelbourneareyoureadytoroooooooock?!” please forgive me, nod politely and go about your business. I’ve just started using ‘Instant Rockstar’ hair product, you see, and I’m not sure how literal its claim will turn out to be.
Instant Rockstar? How desperately lame. It took me some time to muster enough courage to overcome my embarrassment and take it to the counter. It was like I was sixteen again, trying to rent an R-rated movie from the video store. The helpful woman at the Hairhouse Warehouse, however, assured me it would do exactly what I wanted my hair product to do, so what’s a 31 year old, decidedly un-rockstar personality to do?
As an aside, apparently Bart went to school with the brains behind Instant Rockstar! He was the slack-arse who no-one thought would amount to anything, but I guess he's proved 'em wrong. Although, Instant Rockstar? Maybe not. It's certainly not a name I would have chosen if I’d been involved, but if it’s shifting units and working out, good luck to him, I guess. I’m yet to be convinced the product's better than its ridiculous name, but we’ll just have to see.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
Do you have to add water?
ReplyDeleteNot only that, you also have to microwave your head on High for 3 minutes! I'm not quite sure I've got the instructions right though, because today I look like this.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you need to dry your head with a Pink Panther towel before using the microwave.
ReplyDeleteIf I ever use 'rock' as a plaudit, eg, "You ROCK, Max," please shoot me. I hate that expression. (You do rock though, Max). :-)
ReplyDeleteDo you reckon anyone actually buys into the product's promise for real? You know, believing that Instant Rockstar will actually make you cool? Some pimply 14 year old, sitting at home with their PC and internet porn their only friends...
There is - to my perception at least - a couple of levels of irony going on in the naming of the product.
ReplyDeleteOn one level, it's a joke at the expense of the "buy our product and <insert appropriate gender(s)> will flock to you.
On another level, it's making fun of how easy it is to become a musical star in this age of "Australian Idol" and "Rock Star INXS".
So they're hitting the hip, ironic, youth demographic who are jaded and clever enough to see through the tropes of advertising. And if they can get the 14yo losers as well, bonus.
That's very insightful, JJ, and I suspect you're right. At least, I hope you're right. :-)
ReplyDeleteActually, speaking of Alanis Morissette (well we were speaking of irony and she is synonymous with irony, isn't she?) Kate had Video Hits on the other morning and an old Alanis song came on under the category: Classic. Time's marchin' on, kids. Alanis is now a Classic. Not that I was ever into her music, but she actually sounded very contemporary and, believe it or not, better than most of the other stuff on VH.
ReplyDeleteIn addition, my sub-genre of 'Instant Rockstar' is 'Classic Rock', so isn't that ironic? Don't you think? A little too ironic... and yeah I really do think...? And stuff or something?
Hey, I just realized the 'product' sitting in my bathroom for the last 3 months, is 'Instant Rockstar' !! I put some on and looked in the mirror and said 'I ROCK!!' - I also noticed that it says on the back "Not tested on animals, tested on RockStars!"... Cool - I wonder if Keith Richards is the result of long term exposure...
ReplyDeleteWow, a Girl who just started at work here yesterday just came up and introduced herself to me ! I am crediting that to the RockStar product I am using, or perhaps the fact I am not using any deodorant today (an experiment in letting the pherimones out to do their work for once...) Maybe it's both, do RockStars use deodorant?
ReplyDelete[The fact that she reconized me from Church is not a factor, she never introduced herself there, it must be RockStar. Thanks RockStar, perhaps I will use you in other places...]
CK, welcome to the band. Good to see it's working out for you. And I'm hoping that you're referring to other geographical locations?
ReplyDeleteA couple of years back, Alanis celebrated the 10th anniversary of "Jagged Little Pill" by releasing an Acoustic recording of "Jagged Little Pill".
ReplyDeleteTwo thoughts occurred to me; firstly, that ten years seemed to have passed in a flash, and I had done very little with them.
The second was that neither had Alanis, since she apparently felt the need to recycle her glory days with the hoary old Unplugged "twist".
Oh well, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you.
I just said to a guy at work it looked like he used a lot of gel in his hair...He went off that it was not gel but Rockstar Product, The Guy next to him said the same! They started talking about the new RockStar product just released (purple), and quized me about which one I use... I was not sure so I am bringing it in to work next week to show...
ReplyDeleteAlso I wonder if anyone goes back to old blogs and reads them, or if commenting on a Non current blog is a waste of time? (other than for apostropher who will get my comment emailed to him...) So if you are not apostropher and reading this blog then leave a comment here to let me know you read old blogs... of course there is no garuntee I will come back and read it again myself...?!