Seems like everyone’s having a SALE these days. All day, every day. You don’t need a reason, you just need a sign. We're overstocked with ‘em and they’ve all got to go! Used to be when SALE appeared out the front of a shop, it meant you’d find things inside ‘on sale’, that is, at a reduced price. Today it’s more an indication that things inside are merely ‘for sale’. Business as usual. Sure, there might be three, possibly four, items marked down, but they’re usually ones you wouldn’t normally buy if they were free. They lure you in with an empty promise, then sit back hoping the full-price shiny things will work their magic. And I guess they do because that swarm of signs ain't going away.
4. EXCLUSIVE
Seems like everything’s an ‘Exclusive’ these days. Or 'EXCLUSIVE', rather. Every news report, every article, every interview… they’re all Exclusives. Although other networks, papers and magazines seem to end up with what they want eventually anyway, and usually on the same day, so I don’t really see what’s so exclusive and why it’s so significant? I couldn’t care less if someone gets somesuch a little later than someone else, or if there are two watermarks instead of one. And when you see what they're proudly proclaiming as an EXCLUSIVE, you wonder why they bother. What? An EXCLUSIVE interview with Geri “Ginger Spice” Halliwell on Channel 9? I bet the other networks are whipping themselves stupid over letting that one get away! And it’s funny how often the competing current affairs programs both end up with their own EXCLUSIVE on the same story…
3. AWESOME
Seems like everything’s ‘Awesome’ these days. Nothing is too small or too trivial to be described as such. The other day I heard someone describe their chewing gum as awesome. Last year I gave someone a blank sheet of A4 paper and they said that was awesome. 'Awesome' means 'inspiring awe'. Does your gum really inspire awe? If you mean 'really good' find a word that means 'really good' and keep your hyperbole to yourself. A.Word.A.Day, the awesome email newsletter I subscribe to, is occasionally sponsored by ‘Crazy Aaron’s Thinking Putty’ which their ad proclaims as ‘an awesome stress reliever’. (Or an ‘awesome stocking stuffer’ around Christmas). I wrote to AWAD to tell them I felt this ad was a disservice to the word. “God, for example, is awesome,” I wrote, “a sunrise over the Himalayas is awesome, ‘Crazy Aaron’s Thinking Putty’ is unlikely to be awesome.” I received no reply. :-)
2. LITERALLY
Seems literally everything is literal these days. ‘Literally’ used to indicate you were using a familiar, metaphorical figure of speech in a literal way, as in, “Kate literally threw the baby out with the bathwater” or “It’s literally on the tip of my tongue” when trying to recall the name of the lolly you’re sucking. Now it’s more frequently used to indicate something is meant in its strongest possible sense. A number of examples from my collection of misuses include:
• “The new single from Suede has literally just walked in the door.” –Caroline Tran, Triple J DJThe more people use the word in this way, the more it weakens its very specific, very useful and indeed, very pleasing sense of a common phrase being meant in a literal way, and I think this is a shame.
• “She’s literally a chain smoker.” –Student
• “There are literally only a handful of troops here in Baghdad."
–Television Reporter
• “Cars that smoke really get up my nose… literally.” –EPA radio ad
• "Australians are literally becoming allergic to living."
–A Current Affair reporter
1. CONNEX APOLOGISES FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE CAUSED
Seems like Connex is apologising a lot these days. My train home is late nearly every single night and Connex dutifully apologises for most of them with the same push-button recording. I now know every word, every pause, every subtle shift in intonation and, you know, the apology’s really starting to lose its sincerity. It’s like they’re saying it because they feel they have to, not because they actually mean it. Shocking, I know; I feel like I’ve lost my innocence. Train after train, night after night. I now get more annoyed at hearing the same hollow recording for the millionth time than I do about my train being late. Is it too much to ask for even one alternate recording? Just to keep things fresh? Just so it doesn’t seem quite so forced?
Well, that was most cathartic. Thanks for stopping by, and I apologise for any inconvenience caused.
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I'm not convinced that the words "SALE" or "EXCLUSIVE" were ever not used in the cynical way you describe here - at least, not in recent memory.
ReplyDeleteThe Connex one is interesting. Ben Elton (who I can respect as a very astute observer of human nature even as I despair at his lefty politics) once observed that the problem with staff at McDonalds saying "Have a nice day" was not the vacuousness of the sentiment. Rather it was the obvious insincerity of the bored 16 year old reciting it from the corporate script, but at the same time making it perfectly clear that they really don't care about you or your day.
Similarly, if Connex really were that concerned about your train is late, then I'm sure they'd want to do more than just play a recording. Since they clearly don't, shouldn't they just tell you when your train is coming? I mean, we're all adults here and we're not going to throw a tanty because our train is five minutes behind schedule.
Or are we? To me, the worrying idea is that maybe - according to Connex's market research - we are so self-centred that we demand that the big evil system apologise to us personally for even the slightest inconvenience.
“She’s literally a chain smoker.” –Student
Now, this is an interesting one.
The phrase "chain smoker" is used colloquially to describe a heavy smoker; especially someone who smokes more when stressed.
That said, it does also have a specific meaning: to "chain smoke" is to smoke cigarettes continuously, lighting each new cigarette from the butt of the old before it dies.
The 'chain' may be a metaphorical one, but the act of 'chain smoking' is something that the smoker can actually be doing.
Since the phrase is also used to to describe merely smoking heavily, then it would seem to me that 'literally chain smoking' is the correct way to emphasise that, yes, she is actually lighting each new cigarette from the one she just finished.
I'm sure SALE and EXCLUSIVE have always been used cynically to some extent, but I think it's more frequent and more noticeable in the media-saturated lives we live today.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't heard that Ben Elton bit. Nice. I think Connex's apologies are a by-product of our litigiously-minded society; they're just covering themselves. We've fulfilled the obligations of our service provision contract (Part D, Subsection 1b, Clause 4) so there's nothing you can do to us now!
And you know what an inconvenience is? It's when you dawdle to the station because you 'know' the train'll be late yet again, only to discover it wasn't and there isn't another for 20 minutes. Come on, at least be consistent! :-)
Yes, I'll concede that chain-smoking is a grey one. I think I just liked the image of someone trying to light up a length of chain.
I'm sure SALE and EXCLUSIVE have always been used cynically to some extent, but I think it's more frequent and more noticeable in the media-saturated lives we live today.
ReplyDeleteHmmm. Nope, I don't buy it. Some things about trade and capitalism have been constant since Ug traded his surplus granite flints for the extra especially-tasty berries that Zog found in the valley the rest of the tribe doesn't know about; including, I rather suspect, the words "SALE" and "EXCLUSIVE".
I'd certainly wager that customers in the marketplaces of early historical mercantile powers like the Minoans and the Phoenicians were familiar with those words.
I think Connex's apologies are a by-product of our litigiously-minded society; they're just covering themselves. We've fulfilled the obligations of our service provision contract (Part D, Subsection 1b, Clause 4) so there's nothing you can do to us now.
Nope. The very fact that Connex apologises means that they probably are not worried about being sued.
If you are actually worried about being sued, you never apologise. The opposing lawyers can use it in court as evidence that you knew you were in the wrong.
(If you're in an accident, for example, don't apologise even if you were driving fast on drugs while getting your wing-wang squeezed and spilling your drink.)
Yes, I'll concede that chain-smoking is a grey one. I think I just liked the image of someone trying to light up a length of chain.
'Grey' my foot. "Chain smoking" does not involve setting fire to interlinked bits of metal, and no-one who uses the phrase - with or without the word 'literally' - is saying that it does.
Thanks Franco. (Your foot is grey. Geddit?)
ReplyDeleteBut what if you wanted to write about a Giant from a far-off land who didn't use tobacco but, oddly enough, tiny links of chain in his enormous pipe? Nah, you're right. Perhaps I should have used another example from the same conversation with the same student (he literally loved 'literally') where he told me his car "chews petrol. Like it literally chews petrol"? I don't know much (anything?) about cars but even though I think there's some... thing that goes... up and down, like chewing, as the petrol goes through it, it's still a stretch to say your car literally chews petrol.
I'd certainly wager that customers in the marketplaces of early historical mercantile powers like the Minoans and the Phoenicians were familiar with those words.
ReplyDeleteYou're missing my point. I'm not disputing that 'SALE' and 'EXCLUSIVE' have been used extensively throughout history. What I'm saying is that thanks to our 'magic picture boxes' that beam images directly into our homes, our 'horseless chariots' that enable us to travel great distances, as well as other equally fantastic devices that Ug didn't have, we're now exposed to more sales pitches and claims of exclusivity than at any other point in history. Our lives are saturated with messages and images in a way that previous generations haven't been, and so the effect is all the greater. Consequently, words like 'Sale' and 'Exclusive' end up becoming devalued because we see them so much and they just fade into the background hum.
Nope. The very fact that Connex apologises means that they probably are not worried about being sued.
Perhaps 'litigious' was not the right word. I can't imagine people will start suing because their trains are running late. (Am I crazy?) But I can well imagine people getting frustrated and annoyed, and calling Connex to complain, to which they could respond, "Fair go. We do regret the train running late, but we did apologise for any inconvenience caused." It's a nice empty phrase to hide behind that means nothing but does appear to tick the right boxes.
You're missing my point.
ReplyDeleteOK, thanks Wayne...
What I'm saying is that thanks to our 'magic picture boxes' that beam images directly into our homes, our 'horseless chariots' that enable us to travel great distances, as well as other equally fantastic devices that Ug didn't have, we're now exposed to more sales pitches and claims of exclusivity than at any other point in history.
And what I'm saying is, no I don't think we are. For as long as money has been around, people have been trying to convince other people to part with it; for as long as media has been around, people using it to convey messages have had to pay the piper, and have often done so in the form of advertising.
I question the assumption that because we have means of communication unknown to our ancestors, we necessarily have more advertising.
Take telemarketers, for example (far away, if you please). Telemarketing is much cheaper than sending people out with sample cases to walk from house to house. So, companies that once upon a time sent salesmen from door to door how hire telemarketers. They don't - and this is my point - do both. I've certainly never encountered a door-to-door salesman outside a period drama or dirty joke.
Net change in sales pitches heard by the average punter? Debatable either way, but I'd say more or less the same.
In a similar vein, think of the difference in atmosphere between, say, the Queen Victoria Market and Coles.
ReplyDeleteIn Queen Vic, merchants will actively solicit your business, trying to lure you to their stall and away from their neighbours'. Often, I suspect, they will use the words 'Sale' or 'Exclusive'. Most markets, even today, work like that. Certainly, markets throughout history have always been like that.
Today's markets are probably slightly quieter, since more of the sales pitch can be written down on signs; we are, historically speaking, an unusually literate culture.
Coles does have a much louder sales pitch on the TV than any merchant, but the tradeoff is that they're arguably not so pushy when you're inside. Again, not more sales pitch; just different sales pitch...
Are you serious? So you think Jesus, for example, was exposed to as much advertising as we are today? With our TV, cinema, radio, podcasts, billboards, bus shelters, whole buses and trams, text messages, emails, Good Year blimps, even web banners (well, maybe not web banners), etc, etc? Do you think downtown Jerusalem looked anything like this? I can't even argue with you? I don't even understand how you can say, not only t... no, I can't even... I'm stunned.
ReplyDeleteOr even how you can say we don't have companies coming to our doors anymore. I get people from Foxtel, Optus, Telstra, Origin, TRU, and countless others banging on my door every second night. And the companies that aren't coming to the door are meeting me at the train station every morning with samples of skin cream, chocolate bars, novel extracts, cup-a-soups, dried fruit, toothpaste, soccer broadcasts on my mobile phone, you name it!
You've lost me.
Are you serious?
ReplyDeletePerfectly. Perhaps not expressing myself very well, but perfectly serious.
So you think Jesus, for example, was exposed to as much advertising as we are today?
It depends what is meant by "as much"; and for that matter by "advertising".
"Advertising" could be something as simple as a merchant yelling at the passing Redeemer that his loaves are made from the finest Egyptian wheat; and that his fishes were caught just this morning by the Apostle John Who Is Not Of The East.
As for "as much"; in absolute terms, no, Jesus would not have been exposed to as much advertising as, say, me. But then, as a tradesman in a pre-industrial society, Our Lord would have had much less leisure time than I do. In terms of the proportion of that leisure time spent dealing with advertising, I don't think that there is that much of a difference.
Do you think downtown Jerusalem looked anything like [Times Square].
No, but then not many places do. There's Shibuya, and, once upon a time, Picadilly Circus. But that's pretty much it.
Besides, large neon signs only work in a society where literacy is high enough for people to read them; as I said a few posts back, Roman-era Jerusalem would have been more likely to have had people yelling out "Sony" at the top of their lungs rather than painting it on great big signs.
Or even how you can say we don't have companies coming to our doors anymore.
I didn't say that. I said salesmen don't come to our doors anymore. The people that do come to your door are generally offering services that you would be prepared to buy sight unseen - they themselves are not equipped to demonstrate the merchandise - if indeed it is something that can be demonstrated - or even answer too many questions about it. They are not, in a word, salesmen.
And yet, salespeople going from door to door to sell actual, physical, merchandise is a recent enough phenomenon that travelling salesman jokes are still part of our culture. But it just doesn't happen any more.
I get people from Foxtel, Optus, Telstra, Origin, TRU, and countless others banging on my door every second night.
Seriously? I've been living in my current abode nigh on 3 years now, and I think I've had at most 6 or 7 doorknockers. I guess there are advantages to living in an area with a high student population and/or a building with a security buzzer.
Literally? Every second night?
You've also reminded me just how much I miss working in the city. I can assure you that the suburban 109 tram is sadly lacking in corporate lackeys handing out free samples; a form of advertising experienced only by the small minority of Melburnians who commute by train to the CBD.
Im really glad that you guys are using this Blog to make a difference.
ReplyDeleteJust on #5, Connex today indicated that it was better placed to handle planned rather than unplanned disruptions. Poor old Kate de Clerq, who has the difficult gig of spokesperson for Connex, but nonetheless still manages to defend the transport behemoth in her own distinctive, somewhat peculiar manner stated (among other things):
ReplyDeletethe company had responded as best it could to an "unplanned disruption", saying because it was peak hour bus companies were at near-capacity and few spare buses were available.
"We call buses in to replace services, but we don't know if there's any point in calling, for example, 20 buses from Lilydale to come through peak-hour traffic, when by the time (the buses) get there, it could all be over," said the Connex spokeswoman.
...and...
"There are processes in place to deal with unplanned disruptions but planning for them is limited to the ability you have to respond when they occur"
Actually Phil, I should point out that my list was a countdown and Connex was at #1, not #5. Of all the items on the list, an apology from Connex was the least valuable of them all.
ReplyDeleteLove that last quote from Ms de Clerq. Although I'm still not quite sure what she's actually saying. My brain keeps switching off about eight or so words in. :)