OMG OMG AWESOME AWESOME 2NITE IS THE NITE I LITERALLY CANNOT WAIT 2 FIND OUT WHAT BIG BROTHERS “WORLD-FIRST” THAT THEY HAVE PROMISED WILL SHOCK ME IS GOING TO BE IM SO EXCITED I JUST CANT HIDE IT I CANT WAIT I CANT WAIT MY HEAD IS LITERALLY ABOUT TO EXPLODE!!!
Or not. No-one loves their hyperbole more than Channel 10, but they’ve failed to deliver so, so, so many times that their ads now provoke nothing within me but apathy and exhaustion. Wonder too, I guess; wonder at how they can continually get so excited over nothing, and find the enthusiasm and inspiration to talk up a vacuum.
It’s like how they love to promote Australian telemovies as being WORLD EXCLUSIVES. Yeah, because the US TV networks were just banging down Channel 10’s door, desperate to get first-run rights for the latest Aussie telemovie. Talkin’ loud, sayin’ nothing. It’s pretentious and it’s pathetic. I think I’d be more likely to watch if they just said, “Hey this new telemovie’s pretty good. Worth checking out. Maybe give it a look?” Not working, Channel 10, not working.
“But ah-ha,” you cry, “clearly their advertising IS working because you noticed it and now you’re talking about it!” Yes I noticed it; I also notice dog poo on the footpath, and I am talking about it, but not in a positive way (and to, what? an audience of five people?) And talking isn’t the same as watching.
I cannot conceive of any possible WORLD-FIRST revelation that would convince me to watch the new Big Brother, short of Gretel being stuck in front of a brick wall and shot… now that’d be a world-first, and it’d certainly be a shock… oh Channel 10, don’t tell me? Don’t tell me you’re finally going to deliver on your bluster? Hey, even better, what about if they raised the furiously-spinning George Orwell from the dead and he got to pull the trigger himself? Ratings gold!
You know, I don’t think they will. The 'shock' will come, the 'shock' will go, everyone’ll shrug their shoulders, say, “meh, whatever,” and life will trundle on as before.
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You Idiot!
ReplyDeleteNow you hav me intrigued as to what this 'World First' is...? I was Oblivious to it before your blog and now I have to know. Not because it could be good but because you have raised it as an issue. Please update your blog with what the 'first' is; I dont want to have to spend time and troll the BB web site for some dissapointment. Better if you just tell us all and we can move on all the faster.
Hmmm
ReplyDeleteI do hope this Blog doesnt become a rant Page.
My response to the whole thing was "Meh". I have the depressing feeling that I'll find out all about the "world first" soon enough, since avoiding Big Brother during its annual period of domination of our culture is impossible.
ReplyDeleteThe first season of the relaunched "Doctor Who" even featured an episode where Chris Ecclestone was trapped in the Big Brother House, ferchrissakes. Thanks, BBC, (and ABC too - they bought it after all) for spending taxpayers' money advertising a show produced by a commercial network!
As for Network 10, I'm sure that they appeal to the young and hip. As I am neither, they certainly don't appeal to me.
I can't decide, however, if their finest hour was: when Kate Langbroek decided that a live national television broadcast was an appropriate milieu in which to breastfeed her baby; or when the marketing department decided to portray a brilliantly written, yet bleak and gritty, science fiction series as a soft-porn raunchfest.
Hmm?
ReplyDeleteLexx? Serenity? Beastmaster? im stumpd
what was it?
"Battlestar Galactica".
ReplyDeleteIt's so obviously the way to market that show, it's amazing that neither the Sci-Fi channel or Sky One thought of it.
CK, I'm asuuuuuuming that you're being ironic, but your post ends with you apparently still wanting to know. If you do, dude, manage your anxiety! That's exactly the reaction they want. The alledged shocking world-first will be no more shocking than sticking a 9V battery to your forehead. Revel in your ignorance for it truly is bliss.
ReplyDeleteSince the Portal to Hell opened last night, (I know because I was sitting in a restaurant with light fittings placed in a mercifully direct line between myself and the television.) all CK presumably needs to do is pick up a newspaper and read the TV review section.
ReplyDeleteLet us know if it's interesting, CK.
All CK presumably needs to do is pick up a newspaper and read the TV review section.
ReplyDeleteRegrettably, he doesn't even need to do that; he just has to check the front page of any newspaper's website. What passes for news these days...
WARNING: I was so shocked that both my arms fell off.
...or when the marketing department decided to portray a brilliantly written, yet bleak and gritty, science fiction series as a soft-porn raunchfest.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I was expecting when I started to watch it... which isn't why I started to watch it... I started to watch it because lots of people said it was worthing checking out, and that it wasn't the "soft-porn raunchfest" the ads made it out to be. I was stunned to discover that Six's leather bra appeared in only one ep; I'd gathered from the ads that it was a primary plot device!
Actually, it's more of a supporting device.
ReplyDeleteHa. That's funny.
ReplyDeleteUm.. Ironically I was not being Ironic ! So I went to theAge website and... nothing there as it had an article from Sunday speculating, but had not been updated today! So I went to the BB website, and still had trouble finding it. Sure they have the 'Mother Daughter' thing on their main page, but as they dont label it there as a World First, I thought nothing of it and kept looking... LOL.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean? You weren't shocked? But CK, don't you realise? THERE'S NEVER BEEN A BIG BROTHER THAT'S HAD A MOTHER AND A DAUGHTER IN THE HOUSE AT THE SAME TIME! Who knows how they’ll top this next season? Cats and dogs living together?
ReplyDeleteThe article was on The Age's main page, but it was in their cycling article thing. Here’s all you didn’t need to know. (I'm not going to provide the link because I don't want the article to register a hit):
Last year it was identical twins masquerading as one person. This year, Big Brother's surprise is that two of the contestants are mother and daughter - except no one else in the house knows.
The sixth season of the popular reality TV series began last night and featured several new twists designed to keep ratings high following predictions the concept is nearing its use-by date.
In "world firsts", mother and daughter Karen and Krystal will do their best to fool their fellow housemates into believing they're unrelated while an "insider" will be enlisted to wreak havoc in the house.
Sounds riveting. And sorry, "nearing its use-by date"? The only possible save for their pre-show promotion, as far as I'm concerned, is if their SHOCK actually relates to this further snippet from the article:
An electric shock machine to be used in a game of truth and lies and a "punishment room" to discipline housemates are other innovations which have fired up debate.
But no-one seems to be referring to that as the shock. Anyway, that's more than enough time devoted to BB.
Why shoot Gretel? Why not just tape her to a chair a la A Clockwork Orange and read to her from her books?
ReplyDeleteHa. I thought you were going to say, "and make her watch endless repeats of her show," but yeah, her books'll do just fine. :-)
ReplyDeletePS: Don't let her ever. Stop.
ReplyDelete