My ways or the Highways.

I’ve long been annoyed by those people who insist on adding an ‘s’ to the ends of Melway, Safeway and Myer. Mostly, I guess, because I just don’t understand why? Myer may have had one way-hey-hey back in the old days, but Safeway and Melway never have. And yet people insist on checking the Melways, buying groceries from Safeways, and getting overcharged at Myers. I guess we often talk about a Melway’s Reference, and so it feels natural to add the ‘s’, but that still doesn’t explain ‘Safeways’. Or why these people don’t also check the UBDs or go shopping at BI-LOs and Harvey Normans?

Well, whatever the case, the other day I tapped myers.com.au into Safari to see what would happen, and I received a pleasant surprise. Unlike with melways.com.au, there was no discreet, auto-forwarding to the correct address here; just a page featuring a large, wonderfully condescending message asking if perhaps you weren’t, “Looking for Myer?”


You can almost see the invisible ‘You dummy’ in parentheses after the question mark, especially for people used to seeing an invisible ‘s’ at the end of Myer. So, no auto-forward here, not even after a slight pause. The page just stares you down, and waits. It’s as though they want you to pause and reflect upon your error, to notice the five separate instances of 'Myer' on the page without an ‘s’, and then, when you’re ready, to move forward by your own action so as to reinforce the lesson you just learned.

It’s good to see the folks at Myer continuing in the spirit of Sidney Myer and trying to make the world a better place.

Autobots, recycle and roll out!

I didn't want to get excited about the upcoming live-action Transformers movie, especially when I heard Michael Bay was behind the wheel, but now that it's getting closer and the teaser is out, I find I can't help myself! I only recently rediscovered all the toys my sister packed away under my parent's house but could never remember exactly where, so I've got the fever. And I guess if a live-action version's going to be done, now's the time to do so as the technology is good enough to do it right. If only technology could enhance the script as well. I fear another Hollywood stinker crammed with delectable eye-candy, but come on Michael Bay, prove me wrong!

And speaking of technology being good enough to bring my childhood back to life, I was most excited to come across the new Ninja Turtle teaser! No goofy live-action lameness here; just wicked animation that looks like the original comics come to life. (Except for the differently coloured eye-masks, of course). Now, again, if only they can put the same effort into the script...

As an aside, isn’t it great the Boys in Marketing have seen this opportunity to exploit our nostalgic yearnings for the long, golden days of our childhood? Especially now we’ve started having children of our own, to whom we’ll eagerly peddle the heroes of our youth so we can bask in the sunshine one more time. We’ll be unofficial but highly enthusiastic sales staff, expounding the many virtues of a range of toys from a time (back when I were a lad) when they knew how to make REAL toys, not like this Bratz rubbish you’ve got today. Come over to the next aisle, Winter, and I’ll get you sorted. There’s even a wide range of female Transformers for you now, so how good is that? :-)

I wonder if we’re successful whether the cycle will kick off again in another 20 or so years?

Naomi bemoans so-called "friends of mine".

When those Beaconsfield miners got into a spot of trouble earlier this year, Today Tonight’s Naomi Robson was first, well, second... alright, last on the scene (but better late than never), ready to give her support and lend a hand where she could. Which, I might add, she did admirably, and those miners owe their lives to her ceaseless labour on their behalf. But fast forward five months and things are a little different. Now Naomi finds herself in a stew, and are Todd and Brant prepared to dig in and help her out? Apparently not! I’ve not seen or heard a thing of them. Stuck down another mine, or too busy roo shootin’, sorry, spending time with the family? I can't say for sure.

Man, you find out who your friends are when cannibals are trying to eat you, don’t you?

Arnie travels to Heaven and Brazil.

In a previous post I made reference to one of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Favourite Things (to do in front of 5000 people), namely, 'The Pump'. Can you believe how much he is in Heaven? For the benefit of those who hadn't seen his classic moofie, 'Pumping Iron', I linked to a page of quotes to provide the context. If only I'd waited a month I could have linked directly to YouTube. Aah, YouTube: is there anything it can't do?

While you're there, do something educational and look up Arnie's informative travelogue, 'Carnival in Rio'. Iz funtarztic. You will luff it.

Saúde!

Brocky turns off the ignition.

BREAKING NEWS! And now Brocky’s DEAD too! Not Brocky?! The World’s Greatest Race Car Driver and Proud Proponent of Mobil Oils (even though he couldn’t look you in the eye when praising it).

Don Chipp, Steve Irwin, Brocky and... that guy who wrote Storm Boy... all in a week! I can only sit back in stunned silence and ask, “What’s going on?” and “Will that nasty Germ hack into Brocky before he’s even in the ground as well?!” He did plunder the earth's precious resources racing cars, after all.

We’ll just have to wait and see.

UPDATE: Who needs the old Germ to bash Brocky before his body's even cooled when his ex-wife is happy enough to step in with a shovel herself! She was on TV within hours of the accident saying Brocky had always put racing first and that the kids had really felt that. She didn't say she was glad he was dead, but you got the feeling. Even more surprising were Brocky's brothers who were talking about him in a such a composed and matter of fact way that you would have thought he'd only broken a leg! Sure, Brocky was no Steve Irwin, but I've been surprised at how 'meh' everyone, even including the media, have been about it. Maybe it's all just been too much, too fast?

Like wings on a car.

Cars have come to grief…
Devenish Road, Boronia,
the West Gate, Southbank…
and on Dudley Street
and the Wurundjeri Way
in chilly Docklands

A traffic report in haiku by everyone’s favourite high-brow traffic reporter, Hilary Harper. Well, it’s good to know I wasn’t just imagining things.

In a Green Guide interview the other week, Hilary made her philosophical approach to the traffic clear: “I guess I try to make the traffic a little less boring than it could otherwise be, try to put in some interesting language and have a bit of fun with it where appropriate. I think traffic is such a large part of the way people experience Melbourne as a city. It’s something people drive through every day and it’s part of their day, so if I can make a fairly pragmatic and useful service on the part of 774 a bit more fun and a bit more interesting, that’s great.”

I guess I could understand that if I could see the benefit. I mean, where will the madness end? The Talking Clock is very boring. All it does is give you useful information. What a wasted opportunity. Perhaps it should start using Latin? "Procul tertius plaga, is ero II:XXX et X secundus." Taking the report to Fiji for some fun in the sun is just asking for trouble as there’s every chance people will be so wowed by your cleverness that they’ll take in none of the content. “Brilliant! Hilary’s done it again. She just reported the traffic in iambic pentameter!” “Sure, great; how’s the flow on the Eastern?” … “Um… you know, I’m not quite sure… iambic pentameter?”

Anyway, at least I know it’s not just me. And yes, I can move on now, thanks for asking.

CRIKEY!

Breaking news! Steve Irwin is DEAD! Stabbed by a stingray and dead as a Deepwater Cisco. I’ve been called, emailed, Instant Messaged, RSS'd and even SMS’d from New Zealand. The world's flapping its arms! That plucky little guy who, despite wise advice to the contrary, would always smile at a crocodile... THE WORLD IS IN SHOCK.

It's good to be the Dad.

My first Fathers' Day today. As the subject, I mean; not just the giver of gifts and maker of cards. Speaking of which, Winter somehow managed to get online and find her way to Amazon where she purchased Season 1 of 'Dr Katz: Professional Therapist' on DVD for me! Incredible child. They grow up so fast.

Happy 100th Post.

And so it's come to this: a Commas Clip Show. Seems like it was only 340 days ago when I first paused on the Path and put finger to keyboard; and now I’m 100 posts old. Let's stroll, shall we?

Remember that very first post where I described my struggle to find a username that wasn’t already taken, and where I used the word ‘zeitgeist’? Heady days, full of potential, full of promise. It was pretty clear right from the start that the Big Issues would be tackled hard and taken down harder.

Hard to believe my long pursuit of the perfect iTunes artwork combination began way back in my third post.

Or that the Comments section wasn't filled to overflowing with suggestions for additional humorous Brand and Country of Manufacture combinations.

And who could forget the Concise History of the Annual Christmas Stolp? Not me, I was there!

Or, finally, all those jittery concerns in the lead up to the arrival of Winter? Which I think we can say were unfounded. Although, if you're still unsure, cop this:


Well, that’s enough misty-eyed, hyper-self-indulgence from me. Thanks for your company. See you on the other side of 200. :-)