Well, the unflattering comparisons continue. When first seeing the most recent ultrasound of my well-nigh offspring, a series of images flashed through my consciousness.
The first image was of the ‘Bad Boy Club’ logo. I’m not sure why, as I only have a vague awareness of it, and couldn’t actually tell you what the Bad Boy Club is. Another attempt to exploit teenage disaffection for profit, no doubt.
The second image was of Arnie in full pose. It’s that arm that does it. Is it just a trick of the light, or does my child have arms like 'a condom stuffed with walnuts' (to use Clive James’ famous description of The Governator)? I mean, look at that arm! Alpha’s doin’ The Pump!
My third thought was of Ralph Fiennes’ Voldemort from Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire, (I think it's the nostrils), but I didn’t dwell on its significance, and flashed straight to the other end of the scale with a perhaps more common response to the look of an ultrasound:
Although I’m hoping my child isn’t going to be very naughty or the Messiah.
The second ultrasound image we got elicited only the appropriate and desirable “Awwww” reaction from me. A tiny little left foot.
See here for 19 weeks, and here for 9 weeks.
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You must all admit - I have a remarkable husband!
ReplyDeleteBad Boy Club! HA!
ReplyDeleteDo you know if it is a boy? She may be a bad girl with massive arnie arms...
Arnie says 'The Pump' is;
ReplyDeleteIt's as satisfying to me as, uh, coming is, you know? As, ah, having sex with a woman and coming. And so can you believe how much I am in heaven? I am like, uh, getting the feeling of coming in a gym, I'm getting the feeling of coming at home, I'm getting the feeling of coming backstage when I pump up, when I pose in front of 5,000 people, I get the same feeling, so I am coming day and night. I mean, it's terrific. Right? So you know, I am in heaven.
Phark me... So what do you reckon little Alpha is doing?
Haven't I told you what "it" is? Kate and I agreed from the outset to play the gender card close to our chests, but then strangely I kept running into people who somehow knew! Odd, no? Kate just couldn't help herself. I've tried to remain reticent however. :-)
ReplyDeletePhark me... So what do you reckon little Alpha is doing?
ReplyDeleteGetting ready! It's going to be hard work escaping the womb. Alpha needs to be pumped up to burst out like Arnie escaping a collapsing mine shaft in Total Recall.
Or something. Don't think about that mine shaft metaphor too deeply...
ReplyDeleteOh, is it inappropriate metaphor time already?
ReplyDeleteLando. Wedge. Death Star.
What? Are you talking about Lando's hand gesture when they're back on Endor?
ReplyDeleteNup, was not privvy to the detail.
ReplyDeleteBut from this trail of conversation... I think I now am! Is now when I say 'Woo Hoo' or is
the reality that it doesn't really matter.
I just read my previous post... Like a child of yours is ever going to have massive Arnie arms ;-)
But from this trail of conversation... I think I now am!
ReplyDeleteAll I'm saying is don't believe everything you read.