Like wings on a car.

Cars have come to grief…
Devenish Road, Boronia,
the West Gate, Southbank…
and on Dudley Street
and the Wurundjeri Way
in chilly Docklands

A traffic report in haiku by everyone’s favourite high-brow traffic reporter, Hilary Harper. Well, it’s good to know I wasn’t just imagining things.

In a Green Guide interview the other week, Hilary made her philosophical approach to the traffic clear: “I guess I try to make the traffic a little less boring than it could otherwise be, try to put in some interesting language and have a bit of fun with it where appropriate. I think traffic is such a large part of the way people experience Melbourne as a city. It’s something people drive through every day and it’s part of their day, so if I can make a fairly pragmatic and useful service on the part of 774 a bit more fun and a bit more interesting, that’s great.”

I guess I could understand that if I could see the benefit. I mean, where will the madness end? The Talking Clock is very boring. All it does is give you useful information. What a wasted opportunity. Perhaps it should start using Latin? "Procul tertius plaga, is ero II:XXX et X secundus." Taking the report to Fiji for some fun in the sun is just asking for trouble as there’s every chance people will be so wowed by your cleverness that they’ll take in none of the content. “Brilliant! Hilary’s done it again. She just reported the traffic in iambic pentameter!” “Sure, great; how’s the flow on the Eastern?” … “Um… you know, I’m not quite sure… iambic pentameter?”

Anyway, at least I know it’s not just me. And yes, I can move on now, thanks for asking.