Still Can't Write Copy.

Around eight months ago I pledged to stop using iPuns in my writing as they've become stale and tiresome, and I'm proud to say I've stayed true to my word. 

The writers at the mX "newspaper" apparently don't share my view, and indeed — if this train wreck of a headline is anything to go by — the real problem's that they're not being used enough:


I haven't seen them so overburden a headline with puns (or attempts at puns) since this dog's breakfast from early 2006. 

"iCan cut and iCan iPaste" is not only awkward and tedious, it also doesn't make any sense. What is iPaste? And if 'paste' gets the i treatment, why not 'cut'? Why not carpet-bomb the whole headline with leading 'i's and quadruple your pun fun cleverness?! It's easy to criticise, I know, but if you absolutely had to break out the iPuns, I think something like 'Finally iCan cut and paste' would have been much more appropriate.

Oh well, to thine own self be true, and let mX do whatever they want to do. iF iDon't LiKe iT, iCan EasiLy iGnore iT, iGuess.

Literacy Under Siege.

[Warning: Here Be 24 Spoilers. Although, honestly, if you didn't see this one coming, you probably can't read, anyway.]

TV's 24 can be hard to believe at the best of times, but I really couldn't believe it when this news graphic popped up in a recent episode:


"Seige"? Hurgh. First Lost, now 24; what's happening to the standard of literacy on TV these days (grumble, grumble)? And why aren't these things being spotted before they're broadcast? Is it really too much to expect? Let's get Jack onto the trail of those responsible. He'd track 'em down and throw the book at them! Phonebook, probably. (No scars. Clever.)

It's not like siege is a difficult word to spell, either. It even conforms to the old "I before E except after C" mnemonic that people are so quick to call up in their defence when they trip over exceptions such as 'weird'.

I don't know. Maybe I've got it wrong and it's actually the result of extraordinary attention to detail; you know, some form of hyperrealism? A round of authenticity amidst a barrage of absurdity. I mean, come on, the White House is under siege! It's a national emergency! Everyone would be freaking out, scrabbling around under enormous pressure as they rush to get the news to air, and so mistakes are bound to happen! It's a wonder there weren't more!

Hmm, well, I wish I could believe it. Although, if it was true, I'd prefer they put that level of attention into maintaining the integrity of their "real-time" timeline. Time seems so fluid at times, especially during ad breaks, it's no wonder Jack's always running out of it, dammit.

UPDATE
Well, that didn't take long. Rarely does when Jack gets on the job. I don't know when he found the time, but after learning that the Cable News Betwork (thanks Lileks) had been infiltrated by a shady cabal of spelling anarchists, Jack hightailed it over to their broadcast centre at once. Turns out the anarchists had also implemented a high-level cross-agency mole-based infiltration that meant Jack had to operate outside the system (AGAIN!) with only the help of Chloe O'Brien. Remotely hacking into the CNB's mainframe with a minimum of fuss, Chloe turned off all their alarms and cameras and whatever, allowing Jack to slip undetected into their server room where he installed a self-populating Character Sequence Verification module which did something or other and what have you, and before you could say your ABCs the spelling problem was fixed!


So there you go. Literacy crisis over. Phew! Jack, we're in debt to you once again!