Please, make it stop! Right there, in one terrifying shot, is everything I hate about the theatre. The audience in the back row can't pick up any subtleties in a performance, so a raised eyebrow becomes an extravagant, all-of-body gesture. Look at those histrionic expressions and ridiculously contrived poses. They'd make a clown turn away in embarrassment. My eyes haven't stung this much since they were assaulted by the grotesque visages of the Young Demons. I need to go and drench the poor buggers in Dettol. Back soon.
Right. That's better. Man, if there's any film I never wanted to see turned into a musical, it's all of them. That they've done it to one of my favourites is particularly distressing.
Tim. Burto. Mate. After the all-singing horror of Sweeny Todd I guess I'm not surprised that you've lent your name to this musical monstrosity... but still, I am disappointed.
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How come there hasn't been a 'Star Wars the Musical' yet..??
ReplyDeleteLuke: ('Annie' theme song style) 'are we there yet? are we there yet? I know that, we're not there yet.. we've still got such a long way to gooooo.'
ReplyDeleteVader: (Le Misirables Javair style) 'the dark side gives me power.. Oh the dark side, oh this very hour. I'll reach across the stars for you, I'll send out, my best troops for you.. The emperor's will I'll shorley do.. I'mmm soooo baddd!"
So much more coming into my mind.. he he.
Ha, ha. Nice work, CK. I didn't think you could make the Prequels any worse, but yeah, musical versions would do it. Surely, surely, someone, somewhere has made a Star Wars musical? I'd google it, but I'm too scared of what I might find.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, here's my contribution:
Oh, sand is coarse, and sand is rough,
Sand gets everywhere, oh life is tough.
And so these younglings will die by my hand,
For reasons you nor I will ever quite understand.
Oh, GEORGE, why have you done this to meeee?
Oh, GEORGE, won't you set me freeeee?
Oh, your pen is weaker than your sabre,
Won't you hand it to Zahn and let him labour.
Your fans want him to have it,
Why oh why won't you allow it?
Oh, GEORGE, won't you end this misery?
Oh, GEORGE, for the love of the Force, set us free.
Etc, etc.
Actually I just youtube'd it.. and there is some stuff there.. and even though I was alone I still looked around by to make sure no one saw me enjoying it.
ReplyDeleteHehe. You're a dirty, dirty man. You should be ashamed of yourself.
ReplyDelete