Monday, November 30, 2009

Attention Platform 1: Connex has been cancelled.

As the doors beeped and closed on Connex's time in Melbourne, it was indeed fitting that the last train they sent out into the night was a bus.

Connex spokesman John Rees earns my admiration for acknowledging the irony, while suggesting – with what sounds like a mixture of defiance and exhaustion – that "for anyone who wants to look at the more positive aspect of it, it shows we are doing a lot of track work at the moment.'' Upbeat to the end, and with no apologies for any inconvenience caused. Good on him.

I really have no idea whether Metro Melbourne will be the transport provider of which we've always dreamed, or just another set of stickers on the same sardine tins we know so well, but I'm going to take a leaf out of John Rees' book and look to the future with positive eyes. Welcome Metro. May our timetables be in alignment, and may our journeys together be ever swift and smooth. Amen.

UPDATE:
Well, first day on the job for Metro, and they were cancelling trains before I was barely out of bed. That's fair enough, no surprises there. Can't expect overnight miracles. When I inevitably hear the reuniformed PR spokespeople diplomatically reminding us of the network they inherited, I'll understand completely. What I don't understand is why they've have continued Connex's irritating habit of tacking a marketing slogan onto the end of their travel alert text messages:

"Metro, for everyone, everyday"

Well, everyone, everyday, except the people hoping to catch that train. Best make alternate arrangements, people, maybe a tram or a bus, or you're going to be late for work. I'm on your side, Metro Melbourne! You don't need to throw up smokescreens, or glamour me with some meaningless, weaselly, focus-grouped positioning statement. Just do what you say you're going to do as best you can, and we'll be fine.

4 comments:

  1. My day 1 observation was that those poor souls who went to their bookmarked timetable pages at Connex Melbourne's website were delivered a blank page - no auto-direct to Metro, no friendly message that the info was now in another place - not even a 404 screen - just ...nothing.

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  2. Yes, I noticed that, too. They turned off the lights and totally got the hell out of there. If you want to look at the more positive aspect of it, though, Murt, it shows they are um... nope, I've got nothing.

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  3. As the new kid enters the playground I am automaticly trying to think up a good insulting variation to his name: Metro..

    Smetro, Betro, Metroll, Me Troll, Metta Row, Retro,Frettro, Metro Gnome, Sextro, MetRock, Metro no, Metrob, Metronidazole..??

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  4. Give the new kid a chance, CK. Cast your mind back to your first day at school. The new kid needs compassion, not ridicule. He needs a chance to prove himself, and shouldn't be automatically condemned.

    (Metro Gnome gets my vote, though. Bizarre.)

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