For its meters, you see, understand that we are fallen creatures, given to sin. And so, on those occasions when we've stayed for longer than we've paid, before bringing the hammer of judgement down and releasing the hounds... sorry, Parking Consultants, it extends to us a period of grace, an unearned gift of bonus time to shield us from the consequences of our sinful actions.
Don't believe me? See for yourself:
How sweet is that? Unfortunately though, unlike God's grace, which lasts an eternity, that of the City of Melbourne lasts only three seconds. So don't be too casual making your way back to the car, as there's not much grace to rest in. Which, incidentally, made this a bugger of a shot to take. Salvation is assured for but the blink of an angel's eye.
Take me to the chorus:
Amazing Grace, how sweet the soundAmen.
that saved a wretch like me
from the Department of Infrastructure
and a $110 parking fine.
Posts
Superb, Apostropher. Grace – a simple, powerful, deeply profound concept for Christians – but one which the City of Melbourne has defined, packaged and signed off in a trice. Must put them onto world peace next.
ReplyDeletePresumably this neat technological trick is also designed as a means by which the mammoth divide between parking inspector and disgruntled parker can be bridged. When informed that he or she has benefited from three seconds of clemency (if not deliverance), the pinged parker will no doubt invite the council cop around for drinks and a nosh-up.
Having had a brief stint in local government (one starting with a B rather than an M) a few loyalty programs ago, I did gain a slight insight into the role of parking inspector. The good ones were ambassadors for the city, educating the parking populace, providing directions, helping the elderly across the street and so on. The bad ones were vindictive, punitive types and even faced the occasional query about being on the take. The challenge for council was to stop the latter group among the community gravitating to these roles. Having had a long-ish football career, it reminded me of referees. Unfortunately you couldn’t stop it becoming the domain of little dictator types, whose week revolved around the chance to inflict unbridled misery on their clients.
"When informed that he or she has benefited from three seconds of clemency (if not deliverance), the pinged parker will no doubt invite the council cop around for drinks and a nosh-up."
ReplyDeletePerfectly put. Like an apology from Connex, it's the most token of gestures that's so appalling in its insincerity, it'd be preferable to have nothing at all. I mean, three seconds?
"...I did gain a slight insight into the role of parking inspector."
I do know it's a stereotype, but it really does seem like there are more of the latter than the former out there. I'm reminded of the Late Show sketch about Vietnam Vets:
Pte. David Campbell: The worst thing... was coming home. True. People would abuse me, they'd shout bloody obscenities at me, right in my face. They'd spit at me in the street, in broad bloody daylight.
Interviewer: Because you'd been to Vietnam?
Pte. David Campbell: Yeah... And also because I'd taken a job as a Parking Officer... Actually, probably mostly due to being a Parking Officer.
Hehe.
That is my favourite post in a very long time.
ReplyDeleteGreat
Redemption
At
Cityofmelbourne's
Expense
A very long time, you say? Well, I'm sorry it's taken so long for the drought to break. In my defence I can only repeat the axiom that "only a mediocre writer is always at their best." Hehe.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the acrostic! Very nice.