I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it.
So now that all this World Cup hubbub has died down, perhaps I can ask the question: if ‘soccer’ is such a dirty word, how come the players of our national team (surely the ultimate of football fans?) are happy to be called the ‘Socceroos’? Why aren’t they in open revolt, pushing for a name change to the ‘Footballroos’? Or even, as a nod to their Australian heritage, the ‘Foodyroos’? If ‘soccer’ is good enough for our noble band of heroic footballing heroes, well then it’s good enough for me as well.
And speaking of good enough for me, where have those 2006 World Cup Australian Away jerseys been all my life?! Finally, a colour palette to be proud of, and a uniform that doesn’t make us look like an (admittedly athletic) team of Wiggles (but a team of Wiggles nonetheless). The Brazilians must have been pissed they didn’t get to play Away. Summer fun beach-wear for you again, boys, I'm afraid. Australian Green and Gold was, is, and shall forevermore be, awful, and I for one would like to see more of this dignified type of strip for all our god-like sporting heroes, doing us proud as they battle bravely for Australian glory, exactly like the diggers on the beaches at Gallipoli back in 1915. I don't know who's in charge of all that, but, you know, see what you can do? Thanks, I knew you could.
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I for one glory in referring to the sport in question using the word "soccer". The word "football" is used the world over to describe whichever of the many variations of the game is most popular locally.
ReplyDeleteIn most of the world, this means "Association Football", or "soccer" for short.
But not everywhere, and it irks the soccer bigots no end that the Australians, Canadians and Americans - not to mention the spiritual descendants of the young man at the Rugby School in England who first realised that God gave us hands for a reason - have all managed to invent better types of football than their own snoozefest.
So, like Gollum hoarding his precious, they grasp at the name "football" and hiss loudly that it is theirs and theirs alone.
Oh, and your comments about the Away strip are way off base. The Home Strip is Australian Green and Gold my friend, and don't you f*ing forget it.
Green and Gold, of course, have been the Australian sporting colours since before there was a navy blue Australian flag, or indeed an Australian nation.
(And no, this isn't going to go anywhere - you argue aesthetics, and I counter with tradition. Regular as clockwork...)
Very amusing, JJ. I particularly love the image of the hissing soccer fans. :-)
ReplyDeleteNow I love a good tradition as much as anyone, but tradition alone does not make a thing sacred, or even any good. If, for whatever peculiar reason, we’d been eating vomit since the arrival of the First Fleet, I’d be no more in favour of making it a National Dish. The Golden Wattle may well be a national symbol, and it may look very attractive out in the bush, but that doesn't mean we’ll look any good dressed up as it. And indeed, we don't!
And my, Max, it's not every day you see Samuel Johnson and the 12th Man hacked together into the same sentence! :-)
ReplyDeleteThe analogy is inaccurate. Vomit has already been our national dish for over 100 years; we're not deciding it now.
ReplyDeleteWith all great respect to the writer of the big papery thing tied up with string exactly like the thing we burnt, I was never claiming to be patriotic, just that I respect tradition. (Even if I was, the fact that many scoundrels are patriots does not imply that many patriots are scoundrels.)
That said, I hope we can all agree that there is a difference between, for example, the dark green and gold of - for example - the Test Cricket team's famous baggy green cap - and that of the One Day team's uniforms, apparently designed by a four year old with a box of highlighters.
Long Comments : Dont feel like reading them... I wonder if Glamma has a lot to say or if he just doesn't know how to be concise?
ReplyDeleteAs we're talkin' sport, maybe now would be a good time to remember the value of playing the ball, not the man.
ReplyDeleteSports colors are not suppose to be attractive. They are suppose to clearly represent who you play for. I personally like the green and gold, just look how good the wallabys appear on the world stage.
ReplyDeleteAt least our 'Soccer' players are not orange like the Netherlands!
And, don't you think it looks good when you look at a stadium which is covered in gold supporting our team.
Now when it comes down to it, I agree that the away strip does look the goods, and it is the prefered item I would have purchased if I was to jump on the band wagon. Good chance to note the AFL International strip which is Navy with the Green and Gold V!
I have always liked it when the Navy is incorperated with the green and gold... just a preference...
Rugby is Rugby...
Soccer is Soccer...
League is farked... but it is still League...
Footy is footy and is the reason I cannot sit cross legged, run for more than 10 minutes or sit straight up when getting out of bed in the morning... Its the sport of kings... better then diamond rings... football!
And while I think of it, probably a good opportunity to launch another discussion...
ReplyDeleteOther codes were worried about Soccers dominance and how everone got behind our team during the world cup.
A couple of points re this;
Firstly Australians will always support their national team. Everyone stands proud when we hear that the Australian Chess team beat the Russians etc... I am a very poor chess player, and have never followed international chess, but damn it I would have been disappointed should the little Aussie battlers in Ben Ng and Chi Chon Yu failed to come home with the cup!
Secondly, after seeing all the diving, poor sportsmanship, man handling of refs, poor decisions by refs, nil all draws etc etc etc... I think the novelty has worn off as it always was going to...
I even spoke to Max Henshaw this morning who was finding the Aka article in the paper very entertaining.
JJ - I can certainly agree that the Baggy Green is special and has a dignity that's lacking in the One Day (and most other Australian) uniforms. Even though I think cricket challenges soccer for the Boredom Cup, I still feel some degree of reverence for the ol' baggy thing.
ReplyDeleteBomber - What do you mean sports colours aren't meant to be attractive? I have no idea what I'm talking about, but aren't they some sort of extension from days of old when warriors would paint themselves up to impress and strike terror into their enemies? Like in (and I'm sorry this is my primary point of reference) Braveheart? No good stepping onto the Field of Battle looking like wattle if it's just going to make your opponents think you're a joke. Hang on, maybe that's the plan? Look so stupid that your opponent will underestimate you? Green and gold's starting to look good again... :-)
Oh, and sorry CK if that last post was too long. ;-)
ReplyDeleteBombalomba - I think you make some very good points about soccer and the Australian public, and I'd certainly get on-board with Benny 'The Rook' Ng and Chi Chon 'Checkmate' Yu. I'm not the world's biggest foody fan as you know, but I do enjoy watching the odd game, and I do feel a strong sense of pride in it being 'our game', to use a very overused expression.
ReplyDeleteI think the appeal in soccer comes - to a large extent - from almost every game being a close game. People wank on about it being the 'beautiful game', but I think it's more that everyone loves a close game - with the tension, the excitement - and with soccer that's usually what you'll get. I'd certainly prefer to watch a close game of AFL to a 100 point massacre. (Wait, what's the word the commentators use for a massive victory?)
Oh, and on the train this morning I saw the headline, "I'm no car crasher," over a photo of Akermanis and his bewildering two-tone hair situation. Is this the article you're referring to?
Bomber/Max - Did I notice another Aker article on the back page of the Herald Sun this morning? What's going on with him?
ReplyDeleteMax, have I missed something? When did you stop being proudly ignorant of anything foody-related and become the clearly informed man that you are now? Who are you and what have you done with the real Max Henshaw? Actually... are you the real Max Henshaw? Did you somehow switch bodies with the old 'Max' during that dark night on Phillip Island?
ReplyDeleteWhether Aker will or will not play next season is surely less important a question than will he ever stop bleaching his hair? Or even will he one day start bleaching his facial hair to match what's happening on top o' his scone? I'm sure the Herald Sun won't tackle this tricky issue, but surely Woman's Day has the courage to ask the question?
ReplyDeleteMax and I have been known to enjoy the spliff and debate the world over a dozen beers, a plate of cabonara and what ever Friday night game is on.
ReplyDeleteAs for uniforms not being attractive... the idea is to make it so you can see your oposition at a glance in any conditions... You don't want to have your head down picking up the ball to see some monster coming at you that may or may not be on your team. Some uniforms are attractive (Uni Blues), others are not (Marcellin), but when we play each other there is never any mis understanding of who you are delivering the lace out pass to. Same can be said for any sport, except one day cricket where one team is batting, the other bowls, but we have covered that.
I think we are big enough when it comes to national teams that we do not pick our country to support based on which looks the best, like a 5 year old gil picking between her mums and dads team...
This is why I support one team per house... Essendon is our house... Simple. Liv is Geelong... its going to be a long life... HA! No one read that last sentance...
Bomber: my cousin's wife was asked at a family function what team she barracked for. "Essendon", she replied, "it's just easier that way."
ReplyDeleteThat's what family is all about.
Although Future Spouse does insist on following the Tigers, hopefully we can save any future offspring from that fate by making sure they spend lots of quality time with family, and Uncle Bomber, and none with Uncle Apostropher.
One team per house is hard when I have three teams just by myself. I barrack for Richmond because I was five when I decided to choose a team and they'd just won the Grand Final and what do you honestly expect a five year old kid to do?; Melbourne is my Second Team because they are the Family Team and I do have some respect for tradition*; and Geelong is my Third Team because they're cats, of course. I'm also quite fond of St Kilda. Fortunately Kate’s Melbourne so that keeps things relatively simple.
ReplyDelete* Dad has always felt betrayed by my rejection of the family team. He thinks it was an act of gross disloyalty. I just tell him I was following his example because his Dad barracked for Carlton. :-) (His neighbours regularly took him to the footy when he was young, you see, and they barracked for Melbourne, so he decided to fit in.)
JJ, I think your offspring are safe from me.
ReplyDelete...hopefully we can save any future offspring from that fate by making sure they spend lots of quality time with family,
Is your future spouse not considered to be "family"? :-)
JJ Bring em over... I have an entire clan to brain wash anyone... A win would be nice however.
ReplyDeleteAstro... That is something I have never liked about you... you ability to break your fathers heart and go against him simply because you were carried away with the team of the day... Where have your tigers been since you made that decision hey! Should have stuck with Melbourne... but it is too late now. You will now have to fight for a cause which you do not really believe in as it is more of a crime to change colors.
Three teams by yourself... are you on CRACK!
Is your future spouse not considered to be "family"? :-)
ReplyDeleteI re-read what I wrote in case I left that impression, and I didn't.
Bomber - nice work on "Astro". I was thinking about "Post"... now I'll have to choose. Anyone else think it's time that Apostropher had a shorter and easier to type nickname? Any preferences? Or am I being far too democratic?
ReplyDeleteMind you... will anyone ever scroll this far down ever again? Will this historic comment ever be read?
ReplyDeleteI vote for "Troph".
ReplyDeleteOh, and doesn't Troph get an email everytime someone posts a comment? So he'll be reading this if no-one else is. (Unless I mention V14GR4; then he'll never get to see the email...)
Astro... That is something I have never liked about you... you ability to break your fathers heart and go against him simply because you were carried away with the team of the day... Where have your tigers been since you made that decision hey!
ReplyDeleteIf only I'd had the same set of principles you had when you were a five year old, Bomber. :-)
All up though, the Tigers haven't been a bad team to follow: they've taught me the value of patience, persistence and loyalty, and given me a deep-seated humility you won’t find in the supporters of many other teams.
And yes, I'm talking about Essendon. :-) Not you dudes, of course, of course, but there's nothing like a time of plenty to turn a team's supporters into a bunch of sneering, smug, arrogant gits who somehow believe they're entirely responsible for their team's success.
ReplyDeleteJust wait until Richmond has a good run and I'll show you. :-)
I disagree that success brings out the worst in a club's supporters; I think it's that the worst kind of supporter tends to gravitate towards whichever club happens to be doing well right now.
ReplyDeleteEssendon supporters certainly became very thick on the ground at Templestowe Primary all of a sudden in September 1984.
Ah yes... 1984... Leon Baker... what a star.
ReplyDeleteI personally like Astro mainly for the close reference to Astro Boy. Whoever thought a little robot boy who would shoot a gun from his ar$e should be rewarded with all the riches of the land.
I thik they did actually. When in Kyoto recently there was a large Astro Boy mounted high on a pole over looking the millions that pass through the Train station and Bus terminal... There you go JJ, a physical challenge for you. Get that photo in Kyoto when you are there. I should have but was distracted by Olivia stalking a Gisha.
Bomber - You're right, 'Astro' certainly is close to Astro Boy, but how is it close to me? Do I shoot things out of my arse? That'd make it a better name for you, wouldn't it? Projecting yourself again. :-)
ReplyDeleteKate - Nice one.
JJ - Is it a silent 'h' on Troph, or is it meant to sound like the place where a horse drinks from? I'm flattered.
I'll bow out now, as there are few things as sad as someone trying to get others to call them a certain nickname. Yes Stingaling ding dong, I'm looking squarely at you.
Troph,
ReplyDeleteLet's just say that I think of you as a source of refreshment whenever I feel like I have a long face.
As Posts wife I guess I should tread very carefully when it comes to explaining my choice of nickname. Perhaps it's best left unsaid (giggle).
ReplyDeleteIs that because you don’t want it to look like you’re suggesting I spend too much time writing “posts” for my blog, and not enough time caring for you?
ReplyDeleteThe Middle East is falling apart and we're talking about Soccer!
ReplyDeleteBased on the last hundred years or so of history, that seems pretty normal.
Hey, I don't want to be the guy who says, "Who cares if seventy thousand people drowned in Bangladesh?" but sometimes you have to stop debating the Serious issues of the day and really nut out whether Batman would be able to defeat Superman in a fight. I mean, isn't that what Jesus was getting at when he told us the poor would always be with us (John 12:8)? :-)
ReplyDeleteOh and by the way, the greatest number of comments for a post on my blog is 44 (so far), but together, you and me, WE CAN DO BETTER!
Batman would be able to defeat Superman in a fight. I mean, isn't that what Jesus was getting at when he told us the poor would always be with us (John 12:8)? :-)
ReplyDeleteI don't think Jesus is too interested in Batman versus Superman. He seems more like a Marvel kind of guy to me.
I hope you appreciate me leaving Comment 42 for you again, JJ. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, Jesus'd totally be a Marvel guy. Not just because He fills us with wonder, but doesn't DC stand for 'Devil's Child'? Or worse, 'Destiny's Child'? No way he'd be on board with that.
No Troph, I think you're getting a bit confused with AC/DC, whose band name is rumoured to stand for "Anti Christ / Devil's Children".
ReplyDelete(Which I'm sure they're OK with, since it's indubitably cooler than the truth that they named their band after a label on a sister's hairdryer.)
Alley-oop!
ReplyDeleteAnd with that I sail into the Record Books as 'The Person To Post A Comment That Surpasses The Previous Highest Total Of Comments Made In Response To A Post On Commasonthepath.blogspot.com! Hurrah!
You could at the very least have bothered to refer to something earlier in the thread. (And no, the fact that the record was discussed earlier doesn't count, in my opinion.)
ReplyDeletea) It totally counts; b) even if it didn't, as holder of the aforementioned award I can do whatever I want, whenever I want (this applies retroactively), and your opinion counts for nothing; c) you're just jealous because you didn't get it; d) saying you aren't only proves that you are; e) I am like Aker: I play by my own rules and I answer to no-one; and e) wow, this award thing really went to my head quickly.
ReplyDeletef) Essendon won this week; g) Richmond didn't.
ReplyDelete:)
ReplyDelete